Lost...

I'm tired,

being myself makes me sick,

I'm wishing for someone,

someone who can listen to me,
everyday,

I kind of loosing a part of myself,
bit by bit,

they became apart of me,
I'm wonder what I'm going to be,
or, am I going to be someone?

But, I'm petrified,
everytime,... people will think,
maybe they thought I'm just looking for another sympathy,
Am I?
argh... why should I give a damn on them?

as the confussion become more obvious,
i try to understand about me and myself.

But, am I going to know the answer?
I hope I will,
I need someone to talk to,
But who?
I hope I'm not bothering anyone.

Maybe I'm a loser, but I hope I'm not,
what should I do?
I really need someone to talk to, but,
I don't know who, or
I don't have one,
I hope that I'm not forcing other to hear
what I wanna talk,
but in the end,
what is going to happen to me?

---

argh... this is one of the old collection of my works... it's dated on 26.1.2005... I try to find the focus when I'm typing it down, but I cant... then I realizes, this is how I feel at the moment... chaos... havoc in my heart... afraid of being alone... afraid of being someone else other than me that I don't know... afarid of something, something uncertain...